5 THINGS I'VE LEARNED THIS WEEK - FEB 25-MARCH 1
Hey there, good lookin! I'm in the middle of a snow-pocalypse of epic proportions, but I've decided to dig myself out of the powder for my weekly recap. So, without further ado, behold the 5 things I've learned this week:
1. Oat milk is wildly superior almond milk. Like, no contest. Both are popular dairy substitutes touted by those with selective lactose intolerance, AKA my tribe. Like, I'm not allergic to cheese or ice cream, just milk. Anyways, I was putting almond milk in my porridge and muesli (Baby Byrne loves a carb) for months. Like an idiot. And, listen, my tastebuds work. I knew it had a bitter and watery consistency, but I didn't think I had any other options. Then, oat milk entered my life on Monday, and we've been inseparable ever since. Oat milk is the sweet, hearty dame I didn't know I needed, but now I can't live without. I'm thinking about drinking it on its own, that's how delicious oat milk is. Almond milk, you've been excused. Permanently.
2. Bread is a damn treasure in Ireland. I had no idea how much the locals touted loaves, but this snow-pocalypse has opened my eyes. They're so wide, y'all, because I saw story after story of people hoarding loaves of bread and literally clearing shelves all across town. People are petrified they won't get their loaves during this 3 day storm, so they're planning ahead and sinking all their net worth into bread. Bread is the new currency while we weather the storm. Some guys even posted a joke video about a black market for bread, and then it basically came true! I had no idea grains were so coveted, y'all. I learned that this week.
3. Baby Byrne is a night owl. I wrongly assumed that my half-baked baby would be more of a 'often moody in the mornings, peaks in energy in the afternoon/early evening, sharp drop-off in energy post 9 pm' like her mom, but this is not the case. My baby rises only after 10 pm. She then proceeds to wiggle around for the next 6-8 hours, stopping only to drift off to sleep when the sun comes up. I, on the other hand, have seen the sun rise maybe 3 times in my entire life. Maybe I should do a maternity test? I'm not sure this is my baby ;)
4. It is possible to invent a new form of vanity. I'm sure you (wrongly) assumed that wasn't possible in this overexposed age of social media, but I have been hard at work proving you wrong. I've invented 'bump vanity.' As baby Byrne has started growing in mass, I've gotten a kick out of sneaking little photos every time he's looking particularly rotund. My gym is full of serious, bodybuilding lifters, so there are lots of people documenting their every moves for the internet or whatever. No one bats at eye at someone setting an iPhone on a tripod in my gym, but they very rarely have a big round belly when doing so. Enter me! Round and proud and so very vain about my bump:
5. And, finally, Melissa McCarthy and Jenny McCarthy are cousins (!!) I feel so damn ashamed for not knowing this, not that I'm a particularly notable fan of the latter (I mean, she was alright in Singled Out, but she's now a crazy anti-vaxxer. Woof), but I love Melissa McCarthy! This is Sookie St. James we're talking about. The breakout hilarious wild card character from Bridesmaids! I'm a casual purveyor of the comedic arts, and I just had no clue that they share some strands of DNA. I learned that this week.
Anyways, that's it for now. See you next week!