True Life - I'm not a lifestyle blogger
Does anyone remember that MTV show "True Life?" It was filmed documentary style and featured teenagers being like, "True Life - I want to be a sexy cockroach," and MTV was like "Can DO," and they invested in life coaches and cockroach consultants and whatnot, and by the end of the episode there was this hyped finale where the teen would debut as the cockroach in some sort of public forum?
Anyways, I feel like I've starred in a cut episode of that docu-series. Like, I was the director in the documentary of my life, and I said aloud "I want to be a lifestyle blogger" at some point in this summer, and then I tried to make my dream a reality.
I took all the necessary steps. I bought some daisies and took a stab at flower arranging. I bought succulents, and attempted to keep them alive. I took posed holiday pictures. At times, I even blogged, like this time when I deconstructed breakfast in Australia. The crowd went wild. I'm talking 20, 30, 50 likes. Instagram was like "slow down, lady. No need to break our platform with your wild fanbase who are just salivating as they await your next life hack."
At times, dreams don't measure up to reality. MTV didn't prepare me for that. They didn't tell me that succulents are not quite as un-killable as people will lead you to believe. Turns out, no amount of deluding myself can revive my truly dead succulents.
MTV didn't prepare me for a social misstep that would scare me away from buying flowers on the reg. I had a weird run-in with one of street flower ladies who thought I was low-balling her for peonies (I thought she said 10 Euros and offered 8 - turns out she said 20. Turns out she didn't appreciate being shorted 12 🤷). As a result, I haven't bought flowers in months.
What's the solution when I regularly forget to photograph my food in an artistic enough angle to share with the world? I can't un-eat that food, can I? What happens if I forget to take photos altogether? This is a crime worthy of unfollowing in the lifestyle blogger world - as public shame-y as it gets.
Anyways, my "True Life" story has taken a weird turn. Sometimes, you just have to pack it in. I'll never be a lifestyle blogger, so I'll just have to settle for random thoughts blogger with occasional food opinions and travel stuff but like not regularly enough to be a food/travel blog because I don't want to pigeonhole myself. How does one even go about finding a title for that?